When I felt a little more beautiful… A to Z 2020


B for beautiful

I am told that I was born with my skin color as white as milk. Looking at those albums, I can see the change in my skin colour over the years as I grew up. A lot of people keep on suggesting me to try so and so things so that I have a lighter skin tone. Initially, I used to ignore such things. I have been one of those kids who likes walking barefoot. After getting manipulated, I may have tried sun screen but I couldn’t do it more than a week because I am forgetful. In the last couple of years, I have tried some home remedies only for keeping my skin healthy, not for getting a lighter tone.

I used to be a chubby kiddo. I don’t remember how it was to be a chubby kid. People tell me how cute I was as a chubby kid. But I feel that they are happy that I am healthy today.

It seems like for people, no discussion about beauty can be complete without physical beauty here. I don’t know about the topic in your part of the world.

I don’t think I struggled much with people’s demands and expectations about me being beautiful as I never tried their nuskas. We have a saying here, “Soorat nahi Seerat dekho (Look at character, not physical beauty).” Probably because of this saying, I have always been able to ignore toxic stuff easily.

But what I have struggled with is speaking up my mind. I never felt like speaking back to anybody because I had some kind of inferiority complex due to my socially awkward nature.

However, about two years ago, somebody told me to go to a parlour to get my eyebrows done. I straightaway refused. I didn’t feel the need to. I was told I needed to start looking like a girl and was even jokingly threatened that I would be forcefully taken to the parlour. I laughed it off with a smile on their face.

A couple of months after that, I spoke my mind for the first time when a relative asked me why my sister was wearing a trendy outfit and I, a simple one.

“I am wearing what I am comfortable with, she’s wearing what she likes.”

I have always believed that simple is beautiful. But that day, I felt a little more beautiful.

Five years ago, a message popped on my phone. It read, “Saumyaa, it’s amazing all your pictures are so happy and smiling.” When I asked, which picture was she talking about, she replied, “All have a wide smile.”


Read all parts of A to Z challenge 2020 here.

12 thoughts on “When I felt a little more beautiful… A to Z 2020

  1. Simple philosophy of life….be yourself. Be unique. One can have all the ‘so called beauty in the world’, but if their intentions are negative, their soul cold and selfish, then what good is that.
    Our beauty lies in our good nature. Make words and actions your fragrance.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yes, smile is the one thing that makes us beautiful and nothing else! We need to love ourselves because we are all god’s unique creation. Those who judge, must know, we should not doubt the creation of god. Well written. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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