A little more


I saw a dream last night

I feel pleasant this morning

I feel happy

I want to say a lot

But I don’t have words to express

Or maybe I fear to confess

I am in love

A little more

With myself

20 thoughts on “A little more

  1. Learning to love yourself is diffucult but very fulfilling.

    I love myself fine until my dad stomps in like emotional Godzilla and tells me there is nothing about me to love.

    I never cared what he said when I was a teenager under his roof and thumb and now it’s a total reversal. I don’t like it. I need to get back some of my rebellion towards his ignorant opinions. Note I said ignorant, I did not go for a cheap insult.

    15 year old me would have totally taken the low road there. That’s growth, right?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, it’s fulfilling. I’m trying to love myself a lil more each day.

      Do you mean you never cared during childhood and we’re rebellious but today, you care and don’t rebel but should get back to rebelling?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, less mindless rebellion as I did as a teen, cos it often was just to rile him up. But having a spine and standing up to him when he puts me down and expects me to be their babysitter, dogwalker, and housekeeper for free- yeah, I’d like some of my sass back to deal with that.
        He’s never thought much of me and my choices and it really doesn’t bother me too much but when my kid started coming home from their hours, repeating what bad things they’d said about me…Then I began to care. Turning my kid against me with opinion and lies is uncool. I need to defend myself and protect my kid.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. My mom does it, too. Grandpa tells Spook he’d spank her ass cos I am too lenient. Then Grandma tells her I am too strict…Tis why I am glad she’s in this self isolating teen phase to a degree, she wants nothing to do with either faction which means they can’t poison and confuse her.

        Like

      3. It is because she says, “You’re a good mom, I love you, why don’t grandma and grandpa?”
        Hard to explain emotionally broken people to a kid. I’ve done so shitty things, but I have been good mother and to have them even try to rob me of that based on their ignorance and malice…it’s cruel to Spook, and offensive to me.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Idk, I just grew up with this wild notion that parents are supposed to love their kids and not put them down. Crazy talk, I know.

        Like

  2. This is the best gift you can offer yourself: self-love. It takes time and great courage to discover this love, but eventually, that’s the purpose of our existence here. What was your way to start loving yourself? Did it happen naturally or was it a result of a breakthrough in your life?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it’s the best gift.
      I had been a shy kind of person during my early teens. As school years were coming to a close, I saw life was falling apart for me. It was all in my mind because the society and peer pressure forced me to think only about academics. The pressure took a toll on me and gave me too much anxiety. I don’t know if I can call it depression.
      Had to give up my dream of becoming a computer science engineer because it was affecting my health physically and psychologically. Through all of this, my family stood by me. I have never been able to acknowledge how they supported me during that time because I have always been busy blaming them for making me give up on my dream.
      Healing began when I opened up to a friend. Because I could not let them suffer anymore. It was really a long process. There were many lows during the healing process too. I was always scared that I would feel deeper into the well than the last time.
      A major change came after mid-2016 through early 2017 when I decided to pause everything to do things that I actually wanted to do. I would say that was the year I really began to love myself.
      My way of loving myself has been to accept myself for who I am instead of listening to what the society wants me to be.

      When and how did you learn to love yourself?

      Like

      1. That’s a very profound story! Thank you for sharing it! It’s really hard to find oneself at that age, especially if there are various influences coming from outside. I remember that it was a quite tough time for me as well.

        I had a dream to become a wonderful person, to do meaningful things, to change this world for better. Somehow, the reality turned out to be more resistant to my vision than I thought. I have let myself believe that I’m not in power to do all I dreamt about. That I had no tools in my hands to work on my life.

        When did it change and when I started to love myself? There was a time when I made a few big mistakes in my life. Those mistakes left me on my own to deal with consequences. I understood that I’ll never get up if I don’t accept myself the way I am. I started the healing process by loving myself, appreciating myself and supporting myself. This is when things started to change.

        I’m still in the healing process, but I’m already seeing a light in the tunnel.

        Like

      1. Oh I think I have so much love for myself but I just want to be selfish and not share it with anybody else 😛

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s