The 7th attempt to write my story

Dear Me

This is probably the 7th time (there may be more that I just can’t recall but have somewhere written in the notebooks getting covered in dust) that I am starting to write my story.

The first time was when I was 17. I remember how I had burned all those little snippets of my story. It was important for me to destroy them at that time. I needed freedom from a past that I wasn’t able to let go. I remember how I had stored the ashes in a black poly bag for more than a year. Then, one day, I just felt that it was time to let it all go and I threw the ashes in the bin. Now when I think of my disposal plan, I feel it would have been so much more dramatic if I had thrown them in a river, a proper asthi-visarjan.

A second attempt was in the form of a long poem that I began to write. I wrote about a 1000 words in one day but after reaching one point, I never opened it again. The diary in which I wrote, it stares at me every time I open my book shelf. It doesn’t haunt me. I never felt like destroying it. It was just going to be a loooooong poem. Not a book. I was able to write down the struggle but I ended up stopping at the point where it was time to get up. This was in 2016.

There was another attempt in the same year. This was in prose. I had written 8 chapters. But I ended up scrapping the idea later as I did not want that part of my story to be the central idea of my book. This one even had a title: Tasi: the ocean of her dreams.

The next time I tried, it was on a mobile app. I had written about 6-7 short chapters and detailed the backgrounds of my characters. This was had a bit of fiction added to it. And I was going to split my personality into two characters. I may work on it some time again and turn it into a complete fiction.

The fifth attempt was in January 2018. I wrote 5 chapters. It was turning out to be a good attempt. But I just procrastinated.

Then, I had an idea about writing about a character who was based on my life but was much more a rebel than I already am. I could not write beyond two paragraphs. Wondering why? I could not decide on the name of a food. I could not recall the dish that was there in real life and all the dishes that I could think of, they did not fit my story line. I will write this one when I am able to remember the name of the dish. Because it’s going to be about a woman who is brutally honest.

Coming to the current attempt, I plan to take the form of letters and poems. I am not sure about the story line. Maybe I’ll just go with my current thoughts and emotions. I believe that keeping it in the epistolary form will help me keep the story line loosely-knitted. Less of planning on the plot when compared with the novel form. This one’s titled Pause to Breathe.

It wasn’t my plan to start right now. But then I thought if I never start it, how am I going to complete it? It would be fine even I don’t complete it again. At least I started. A special thanks to Mimi for prompting me to start.

Who knows if I just merge all the parts of all my attempts turn it into one piece? 😉

March 9, 2020

10 thoughts on “The 7th attempt to write my story

  1. And you asked me why I find writing fiction so challenging? You have to create new people and entire worlds with fiction. If you’re struggling with your own non fiction inspired effort, then you get it now. It seems like it should be easy but it’s really not.

    Good luck. Maybe 7th time is a charm. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaa… I had asked to know what challenges you were facing. Not to imply that there are no challenges.
      My major struggle is to be truthful to my own story.
      Thanks for the luck. Need it. Fingers crossed 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Intrigued I am very much to read your story now!!!

    The first step is to ask ‘why should I write this’. Once you’ve considered that then ask yourself ‘how honest do I want to be’.

    A few years back I wrote a very short piece called ‘they don’t mourn like us’. It charts the day before my father suddenly passed away and the events thereafter. About how we mourn in the Asian community and the overwhelming nature of the whole experience. I didn’t mix my thoughts and after finishing it, and overcoming how upset I was I felt a little lighter. I will share it one day in a book of short stories.

    The key is knowing that if you share this with anyone how open do you want to be….

    Just my thoughts….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Why should I write this?
      To release myself. For the last 5 years, writing has been a way for me to hide my thoughts. Just as you said, I feel lighter.
      And I know, my story will help a lot of people.

      How honest I want to be? That time will tell.

      I’d like to read your story too 🙂


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