She was not the one

Who she appeared to be

They were suspicious

Of her, one day

They followed her

They were shocked

To know the truth

Every morning

She dressed herself up

As an ideal woman

To abide by their rules

And every night

She dreamed of flying

With the help of the wings

She hid underneath

Their so-called ‘culture’

In response to Daily Prompts- Suspicious, Costume 


22 thoughts on “Wings

  1. “She dreamed of flying

    With the help of the wings

    She hid underneath

    Their so-called ‘culture’”

    Oh my goodness. This is the kind of thing I would talk about in my seminars at university. I don’t know if you intended to do this but, by leaving the very ends of your lines as un-punctuated, it literally feels like the words you are saying are soon to fly off the page with the speaker. Even the inverted commas around “culture” provide wings of syntax, appearing visually like wings on your page, as though culture itself is about to fly off. Oh my goodness this is brilliant I could sit and analyse this for hours!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I did leave it unpunctuated intentionally. The first draft was unpunctuated, when I added the punctuations in the second draft I felt I was putting an end to the meaning of my words. The lines ending with commas and full stop meant giving a pause. Also, the punctuations didn’t look visually appealing, so I immediately remove them.
      The analysis of the inverted comnas of culture was not something I had noticed.
      I must say you really are a literature student! This comment gives me those vibes. (I’ve done my graduation in literature which made me love words and reading, and start writing.)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m glad I wasn’t wildly off. And I did notice your end stopped lines but I just think in all of your poems, you seem to use punctuation so intricately. I see so many pieces of work that are over-punctuated and yours appear to be blissfully simply whilst carrying even more meaning behind them. I very much get a less-is-more approach from your poetry and it’s so effective.

        And yes, I most certainly am a COMPLETE literature geek. Get me talking about enjambment, metre, and caesura and I won’t stop!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yeah, I use punctuations a lot. And maybe I do over punctuate. But I didn’t feel like doing it with this one.
        Yeah, less-is-more. I leave it to the readers to interpret. I hide all I have say in that much.

        I’m not a geek as big as you. I just appreciate it because I like it.

        Liked by 1 person

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